I found this incredibly relatable, thank you for sharing! Thank God for healing spaces like gardens and words on the page. I believe that someday we will get down to the root of illness. Who knows if it will be in the medical world, but we will tend our gardens in the interim and celebrate what’s alive right here.
Shannon! Lovely hearing from you. Your final phrase “…and celebrate what’s alive right here” holds such meaning. Here’s to us doing our dang best to find beauty in the right now-ness of our lives. 🥹
Thank you for sharing about your difficult chronic illness journey. I’m so sorry you’ve dealt with so many physicians who don’t believe you and ridicule you even. It’s so upsetting and discouraging. I do hope you’ll find a physician who is not only compassionate but also capable to guide you back to a good health🙏 I trust there are such physicians out there. Maybe rare but they exist! I’m so happy to hear your garden delights you. I find playing with dirt and watching little plants grow healing! What a gift to have such a sanctuary as your backyard! I need to come visit and sit next you in the non-creaky rocking chair! Reading books are wonderful too. I need to do more. So thankful for you and your beautiful writing. Love you💗
Yes, please visit and enjoy our backyard sanctuary with us! All of the birds will make you smile. 🐦 I’m hoping you can pass some of your luck with good doctors onto me. Love you, Okaasan! 😘
I am sorry and can empathize with your medical experiences. Thank you for sharing. I came on here to share that my garden has been a lifesaver, especially my friends Chippy the Chipmunk and the blue jays with their 3 babies. These little delights really help against the “healthcare” war I feel I have to battle.
Also, wanted to add that I love your poem. I am always shocked that providers think I am lying... like why would I do that!? I want to feel good and enjoy life, not be in a doctors office being belittled! Always amazed at the psychology of it, and how mean, unnecessary and hurtful it all is.
Rae, thank you for your comments! I’m sorry you’ve experienced the belittling and disbelief associated with these sorts of invisible illnesses. I see you, and I honor your pain!
Baby blue jays sound so adorable. It’s a gift getting to observe and immerse ourselves in nature. I hope your garden continues to nourish your soul. 🌱
Erika, my daughter (now 23) has also been drudging through since she was 16 with chronic illness. Your piece spoke so to her experience and mine as her advocate (knowing of course, that our experiences are different and that I am just the one grasping at treatments, doctors, therapies, herbs, life, as she feels the chronic pain) She too has found solace in our gardens. I started out as the gardener and soon realized that she is the soul of it. May you, my daughter and the others in chronic illness find the "now-ness" and may those of us in support positions, share in it and also know that that we are simply there to learn (the supporters), to love and to listen.
Hi Mary, it’s really nice to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to read and share a blip from the experience of walking with your daughter through chronic illness. I’m glad she has you to lean in on. 😌 Your words re: the supporters were special to read—may folks like you be given strength and grace to love well for the long haul. 💗
I'm sorry about the ongoing struggle with your health and with medical providers. I've had so many similar experiences that now I know merely entering a doctor's office makes me internally stressed. I go ahead tell them, "my blood pressure is going to be elevated just because..I'm here." I remember the moment my primary care decided everything I'd been struggling with for months was only in my head. I could see the change in her eyes and in the way she talked to me. Or the health coach who had her own health story and should have known better but said, "If you've seen all of these doctors, WHY aren't you better yet?!" As if it was my fault and I was choosing to remain in unwell.
So glad others can read this and feel seen, thanks for sharing your story.
Aimee! I appreciate you taking the time to read and share some thoughts from your experience. 😌 100% can relate to an elevated number the minute you enter a doctor’s office—for me it’s my pulse.
How wearisome it feels to hear comments that lack such empathy or awareness. Having to haul ourselves to these appointments, fill out a remarkable amount of forms, and repeat our stories over and over only to be given a blank look or a hurtful comment in return is demeaning and exhausting. I’ve wondered what’s the point of covering our medical history in painstaking detail if they never read through it or draw from it?
I hope to keep making space for others just like us. We all need each other!
I found myself heavy-hearted, hopeful, and frustrated reading this post. I've experienced just a small bit of what this feels like—to feel like another 'cog in the wheel' in a very messed-up medical system, and it's maddening. The fact that you've dealt with this for so long makes me incredibly sad and angry on your behalf. It shouldn't be like this.
"Real voices in medical communities, supporting the chronically ill with the words: we believe you, and we’ll help you." This gave me chills. Oh, how powerful this would be.
Thank you for sharing your very real, very painful journey with chronic illness. Even if you don't find doctors to stand with you and believe you, I will. We will. All the tired and worn-out people will find each other one way or another and help carry the burden. We must.
I found this incredibly relatable, thank you for sharing! Thank God for healing spaces like gardens and words on the page. I believe that someday we will get down to the root of illness. Who knows if it will be in the medical world, but we will tend our gardens in the interim and celebrate what’s alive right here.
Shannon! Lovely hearing from you. Your final phrase “…and celebrate what’s alive right here” holds such meaning. Here’s to us doing our dang best to find beauty in the right now-ness of our lives. 🥹
Thank you for sharing about your difficult chronic illness journey. I’m so sorry you’ve dealt with so many physicians who don’t believe you and ridicule you even. It’s so upsetting and discouraging. I do hope you’ll find a physician who is not only compassionate but also capable to guide you back to a good health🙏 I trust there are such physicians out there. Maybe rare but they exist! I’m so happy to hear your garden delights you. I find playing with dirt and watching little plants grow healing! What a gift to have such a sanctuary as your backyard! I need to come visit and sit next you in the non-creaky rocking chair! Reading books are wonderful too. I need to do more. So thankful for you and your beautiful writing. Love you💗
Yes, please visit and enjoy our backyard sanctuary with us! All of the birds will make you smile. 🐦 I’m hoping you can pass some of your luck with good doctors onto me. Love you, Okaasan! 😘
I am sorry and can empathize with your medical experiences. Thank you for sharing. I came on here to share that my garden has been a lifesaver, especially my friends Chippy the Chipmunk and the blue jays with their 3 babies. These little delights really help against the “healthcare” war I feel I have to battle.
Also, wanted to add that I love your poem. I am always shocked that providers think I am lying... like why would I do that!? I want to feel good and enjoy life, not be in a doctors office being belittled! Always amazed at the psychology of it, and how mean, unnecessary and hurtful it all is.
Rae, thank you for your comments! I’m sorry you’ve experienced the belittling and disbelief associated with these sorts of invisible illnesses. I see you, and I honor your pain!
Baby blue jays sound so adorable. It’s a gift getting to observe and immerse ourselves in nature. I hope your garden continues to nourish your soul. 🌱
Erika, my daughter (now 23) has also been drudging through since she was 16 with chronic illness. Your piece spoke so to her experience and mine as her advocate (knowing of course, that our experiences are different and that I am just the one grasping at treatments, doctors, therapies, herbs, life, as she feels the chronic pain) She too has found solace in our gardens. I started out as the gardener and soon realized that she is the soul of it. May you, my daughter and the others in chronic illness find the "now-ness" and may those of us in support positions, share in it and also know that that we are simply there to learn (the supporters), to love and to listen.
Hi Mary, it’s really nice to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to read and share a blip from the experience of walking with your daughter through chronic illness. I’m glad she has you to lean in on. 😌 Your words re: the supporters were special to read—may folks like you be given strength and grace to love well for the long haul. 💗
Such an important post, Erika. Thank you so much for sharing. xxxxxxx
You’re welcome! And thank YOU for reading. Also happy 10 year anniversary, Rebecca! 🥳🤩🥰
Thank you, Erika! 😘
I'm sorry about the ongoing struggle with your health and with medical providers. I've had so many similar experiences that now I know merely entering a doctor's office makes me internally stressed. I go ahead tell them, "my blood pressure is going to be elevated just because..I'm here." I remember the moment my primary care decided everything I'd been struggling with for months was only in my head. I could see the change in her eyes and in the way she talked to me. Or the health coach who had her own health story and should have known better but said, "If you've seen all of these doctors, WHY aren't you better yet?!" As if it was my fault and I was choosing to remain in unwell.
So glad others can read this and feel seen, thanks for sharing your story.
Aimee! I appreciate you taking the time to read and share some thoughts from your experience. 😌 100% can relate to an elevated number the minute you enter a doctor’s office—for me it’s my pulse.
How wearisome it feels to hear comments that lack such empathy or awareness. Having to haul ourselves to these appointments, fill out a remarkable amount of forms, and repeat our stories over and over only to be given a blank look or a hurtful comment in return is demeaning and exhausting. I’ve wondered what’s the point of covering our medical history in painstaking detail if they never read through it or draw from it?
I hope to keep making space for others just like us. We all need each other!
I found myself heavy-hearted, hopeful, and frustrated reading this post. I've experienced just a small bit of what this feels like—to feel like another 'cog in the wheel' in a very messed-up medical system, and it's maddening. The fact that you've dealt with this for so long makes me incredibly sad and angry on your behalf. It shouldn't be like this.
"Real voices in medical communities, supporting the chronically ill with the words: we believe you, and we’ll help you." This gave me chills. Oh, how powerful this would be.
Thank you for sharing your very real, very painful journey with chronic illness. Even if you don't find doctors to stand with you and believe you, I will. We will. All the tired and worn-out people will find each other one way or another and help carry the burden. We must.