How to show and tell truth?

Mind Your Own Map | No. 3 🧠

Jan 23, 2024

How’s the year coming along for everyone? I got sick twice this month already, so that’s exciting! I’m practically eating cough drops in my sleep and forgot what it’s like to have an appetite. Aside from that and another family health scare, things are okay over here. 😅

Today’s post is the third in the MYOM series and my chance at putting something gloriously random together for you, so… enjoy!

On the mind lately

Digitally drawn mind map with topics like "iridescent," "luminous beings," "galactic," "memory," "Handley Library," etc

Mind Your Own Map is a prompt to visualize and connect what we’re learning, thinking, and experiencing.

Show & tell truth 📖

When writing my last essay, I started chatting with Aaron about how to write stories that involve others. I know what I’m allowed to say about chronic illness—that’s easy-peasy. In that story, the third party is a disease with no feelings, no internet access, and not even one feather to ruffle.

But most of our lives intersect with real humans. Humans with puffy egos (which includes us) and reputations to polish. The same event can be told from either side of the crosswalk. Tellers will have their experiences of truth—what was painful, what was beautiful—and they probably won’t parrot the other.

So how do we share in a way that’s tactful, gracious, and telling the truth about our lives? Looking for guidance, I picked up Marion Roach’s The Memoir Project again. I’m still rereading it, but have a few quotes I already like:

How to tell the truth? Write what you know. “Here’s how I see it” is a powerful phrase to keep in mind, as is “Here’s how it happened to me,” or “Here’s how I felt.” Make no claim that your version is the only one.

…while writing about the hideous aspects of life, you should attempt to teach us something about the behavior of those involved, about your behavior, about all human behavior. Let us into your story by shedding light on our own dilemmas, fears, happiness, or wide-eyed wonder.

No matter how many words it is, the piece is just a day trip with someone listening in—the reader. You are not writing the history of the world, or even your world. Wanting to be heard, the temptation is to go big and throw in everything we think we might need. But it’s a mistake. And so we must unpack, casting off all nonessentials and, along the way, learning what to leave out.

Some of the stories I want to tell have no-good plots and troubling characters. In these stories, there’s no resolution—only distance that’s come through enough time and personal healing. Distance helps when I’m clarifying my writing intent, though. Maybe my truth-telling is about exposing corruption, but it isn’t for seeking revenge.

Other stories I might not ever be able to tell. That could be for legal reasons or keeping-the-peace reasons, and I might not love that, but better to be measured than rash or foolish. I have to try my best to write with integrity, backspacing when the draft says too much or the if line is still too blurry.

This is all very tricky, and where I’ve landed for now is that the decision to write, show, or tell a particular story needs to be taken case by case. I really just can’t cross that street till I get there.

How do you all handle this conundrum? Is it something you wrestle with, too? Below is my first poll, and I’d love it if you jumped in with your answer!

Charmed by a library 🏛️

Last week, I was reminded of Handley Library, the book palace from my youth. Constructed in the Beaux-Arts style, the library has a stained glass dome, limestone arches and columns, and embellished sculptures of fruits and flowers and muscled men. To my young self, the library looked like the Beast’s castle.

Google reviews show that over the years, others also have been captivated by the historical library. I picked my favorites and even titled them for you! 😉

Pretty Potty

I was visiting the nearby pedestrian mall and just walked up to the library to use the free bathroom. What a surprise. This building is gorgeous. I spent about fifteen minutes admiring it. —Don M.

A Mini Bio

The Best Library ever and I am 56!!! —Suzy K.

Awakening

Had my 1st kiss in 5th grade in the basement, I think that's when I realized my love for architecture. What a gem this place has always been, definitely one of the must check out places within town. —John D.

Haiku, Unfinished

Felt like no other library
Definitely an experience
—Jack

And if I’d written a review in 5th grade, mine would’ve read:

“The secret spiral staircase is sooo cool even though you get dizzy. When the librarians use the beeper their charm bracelets jangle on the counter. I LOVE that sound and wear bracelets at home when I play library.”

Galactic relaxing 🪐

A few weeks ago, Aaron surprised me with a date to the observatory. We watch space-related movies and TV shows. Our son’s bedding is patterned with planets. We have a galaxy light projector on almost daily. And you can bet there are conversations in this home about alien life.

To keep up with this galactic theme, I made a nighttime playlist for drifting off into slumber-space. I have serious sleep issues and am trying to change the way I feel about those night hours. Maybe this playlist can be a starting place. Feel free to add it to your wind-down routine as well.

Your turn! 📝

What are you fixated on these days? Do you think aliens are real? And did your librarians wear charm bracelets and turtlenecks too?