Thanks for your comment, Hannah. I’m so grateful for the people who’ve gone before me and passed along their courage. I can only hope to do the same for someone else!
Thank you for sharing your story, Erika. Beautifully written, and your reflections are so powerful. Your vulnerability in sharing will help others, which is such a kindness.
It must have taken much courage for you to write this post. It’s so terrible you have experienced the horrible abuse. I’m so proud of you for sharing your experience publicly in order to define what a spiritual abuse looks like firsthand and to validate those who has experienced traumas from a spiritual abuse. I’m thankful for your counselor who has helped you identify the spiritual abuse and continues to help you on your healing journey. I’m grateful God has kept you despite many traumatic experiences and has brought you healing and is continuing to heal you. You are a strong woman who has a gift of writing! Thank you for using your gift to uncover the truth even though it was very hard thing to do❤️I hope this post will bring a awareness and encouragement to those who needed to hear your story. Love you!
Arigato. 🥹💗 Those were some dark times, and I’m thankful for your support and prayers through all of it. You’re right, my therapist has been instrumental in helping me see with clarity and untangle the mess of weeds the trauma left behind!
It was beyond tragic what happened to you and many others.
Bravo for using your voice in order to help others after you. It was so brave and courageous.
It was interesting to read how you had to detach from your previous “sweet” self.
I think that he (and the board and church community) would have shaking a lot of your beliefs about how the world runs and how truth and righteousness prevails.
Thank you, Mika. I remember beginning to use my voice and feeling just as surprised as others were that I had it in me. I think they expected me to be sweet, submissive, and silent forever! But they were wrong. Learning how and when to take a stand has been an awfully hard lesson. I’m still learning. It’s not as challenging as it once was, though.
Do you think culturally, there was a fight against the norm of being a Japanese woman? As I was cooking for family to come over last night (just like my mother has done many times), I wondered, am I setting my daughters up to cook by themselves without enlisting their kids? 🤔
Ooooof, that's a really great question! Honestly, I haven't thought about it from that perspective, but now I'm curious... how much of my "submissive" personality traits/tendencies were influenced by those cultural expectations...? Hmmm. Something to think on!
YES!!! They definitely expected and wanted SILENCE. It's THE tool. When a person WITH Godly character emerges out of the silence that got you into the situation, it confuses them. They are so used to dominating. But God IS with you! Doesn't mean there won't be suffering and you are shining a light for others to grow. It's good work.
Hi Erika. Please note that I am saying some very direct things in this message that you might not want published here. If that is the case, please delete this comment, and know that I apologize. I am speaking generally with regard to what you went through and not specifically about you.
My hope is to share compassionate information. And when reading these words, you will feel deep understanding. If that doesn’t happen, delete this comment.
Thank you for sharing this story of complex betrayal. Please know that healing from any betrayal is not linear, and not something to solely do alone.
What you have experience is a betrayal in kairos time. (Versus normal “chronos” time that we live by). A kairotic betrayal is the deepest form of betrayal because it simply “should” not exist as a possibility in the natural world. Yet it does. A kairos moment is a moment out of normal time, defined by philosophers and mystics as “deep time” where the world seems to stand still.
Abuse at this level is unspeakably wrong. Your former senior pastor is as terrible as the catholic priests who abused children in their care for decades.
You were right to speak up, no matter what the outcome.
A secondary huge part to grieve is the relationships you lost. The grief comes from your wise knowing now that they were never what they presented themselves to be.
Grieve. Be gentle to yourself. Be kind. Speak kindly to yourself. There are real communities out there for you to be a part of someday, and you will find them in time.
Teyani, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for spending the time not only reading the post, but sharing your thoughts with me (and anyone else stopping by!). I can sense your compassion.
I’ve only heard a little re: chronos vs kairos time before. Now you have me curious—will need to look into that further! What you explained about the world standing still certainly feels true.
I appreciate you being able to see and name the severity of the abuse. Other people’s stories from that church are disturbing and heartbreaking as well, but they aren’t mine to tell.
While I’ve now had time to grieve the relationships I’d lost, I wish I had your words in those initial months (and perhaps couple of years). Phew. How easy it was to feel like *I* had been the one to betray my community by speaking up!
Because we are designed by God to belong, the loss of relationship is the sword. The grief is real and we all never want to be excluded and so we conform and are silent. Bonehoeffer is the single Christian voice that emerged from WW2 because he would not remain silent. Jesus doesn't call us to silence. His command is to speak. There is a cost. We are promised suffering. He says if your influence isn't received to shake the dust off your feet and walk away. Walking away is also walking toward the next space to speak.
Erika, wow. Thank you for sharing your story. It is an important experience that needs to be heard, for your healing, and for others’. I’m sure your piece will help someone, or sadly, many others. I’m glad you have the strength to share this. Also it was well written.
Stephanie, you’re welcome. I do hope this story can be useful to others. I hate that there are “others,” but this problem spreads far and wide. Appreciate your comment here!
It is so very brave to speak out in this type of culture and also to be as vulnerable as you have been to share your story here. I see and honour your courage, Erika, and thank you.
Of course. And thank you for your words, Nic! It took much deliberating, editing, and even stepping away as I worked on the piece. But I’ve felt good about where it’s all landed now.
Thank you for your courage and bravery. I lasted about a year and a half in a similar type of church, losing my "safety net" of a "family" -- the most important friendships I'd made so far in formative time of my life (freshman and sophomore years of college). Many of these friends went on to work as interns and then staff members -- while I slowly began the process of healing, unsure for awhile what churches were even safe or how to tell. How'd I let myself think that was all okay?
In time, I've been contacted by almost every single person who'd turned their back on me when I left -- at least the ones that mattered -- with sincere apologies for not understanding and for cutting me out. "But now I get it," they'd eventually say.
And I can only hope, for so many people in similar situations, the truth, in the end, prevails.
Kristine—I’m so sorry you’ve known this particular kind of pain, isolation, and loss. It really can plunge someone into deep grief. I don’t blame anyone for their skepticism toward church. 😞
Hearing from folks again must’ve brought up many emotions. Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to experience that... I still hope the ones who stayed back can realize the truth of what’s happened. I’m not sure what it takes, but I’m grateful I was rescued from this kind of darkness and believe it’s not too late for them.
I share your hope for a truth that prevails. Even when that seems far off or almost impossible, I want to believe it will.
My heart hurts for you. You are actually quite amazing to so quickly see and act. Brave. It is encouraging to hear that people you appreciated humbled themselves and reached out to you. And apologized. That's very sweet. Without your strong Godly character they would not have learned.
Thank you for sharing your story. I really see how you sought to write this with accuracy, while also allowing the sorrow of these losses be honest too. It was beautifully written. And thank you for sharing the Wade Mullen quote in the footnotes. I really see that dynamic in my own story as well as many others. It also took me about five years before I could publicly talk about my own story of spiritual abuse.
Hi Kimi, it’s nice to see a new face here. Thanks for taking your time on a weekend to read!
I appreciate you noticing my effort in relaying the events and my emotions with a thoughtful, yet honest approach. It took several iterations and I had a few friends offer feedback. The general consensus was to be more honest and to let the facts carry their own weight. I worked on the piece (and sometimes stepped away) till I felt it (and I!) was in a good place to publish.
I’m really sorry to hear you have your own story of spiritual abuse. What grief and sorrow you must’ve gone through. It can be incredibly lonely and disorienting to move forward from, can’t it?
No one is ever owed our vulnerable stories, but I know I’ve been deeply encouraged and impacted by others who have shared. Knowing we aren’t alone really can help the healing process along. 😌
Thanks, Erika! Thank you also for sharing your process of writing this. I can relate as I also recently wrote my own story of spiritual abuse on Substack, and I had to rewrite often before publishing, take a step back and come back to it, and really consider how to best tell a complex story. It’s a difficult undertaking, but you handled the complexities of your story so well.
And I very much agree — abuse in all forms is isolating and creates so much grief and loss. That was one of the reasons I eventually decided to write my story and share it, because I wanted to speak out against the isolating sense of shame that happens to many of us in the aftermath.
That said, completely agree with your assessment. No one is owed our vulnerable stories, and yet, there can be a healing process to both sharing our stories and hearing others too. Thank you for letting us hear some of your story!
When I get the chance, I’ll read your story as well. I’m not sure what it felt like for you after publishing, but the last couple of days I’ve been experiencing a sense of agency returning. It feels redemptive to receive support and understanding from folks.
This story is so familiar. I have heard it so many times now, and it never gets any less heartbreaking. I’m so sad and grieved for your experience, but so proud of you for taking the stand you did. The collateral damage to exiting a system like this is enormous. I have compared my own version of this story to feeling like I’m a refugee, like all I made it out with is my person, and I’ve had to go through the shell shock afterwards. It tends to feel a bit like you lobbed the bomb that exploded your life — but there’s no other option if you want to retain personal integrity.
I sometimes wonder if the same sensitivity that makes people good at things is a threat — like that the domineering force is aware they’re being seen through so turns so quickly. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why it’s so difficult for people to see these dynamics in “Christian” settings.
Annelise, thanks a bunch for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your empathy. I’m also really sorry you carry your own story of loving/leaving a community as well. 😔
Many yeses to your comment about retaining personal integrity. How devastating to know anyone has to make that choice at church. The fact having integrity can mean speaking up against or removing yourself from spiritual community because it’s twisted at its core feels unfair and unthinkable. At least it did as someone who’d grown up in the church. These were “my people.” (Or so I thought.)
Have you listened to the podcast The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill? (It could be triggering, so if you haven’t listened, do keep that in mind.) I remember listening and thinking—did my pastor take notes. The podcasts seem to illuminate how the collective *we* as believers have propped up these sorts of leaders in the first place. Gulp.
In the early days, a few friends had visited my old church and immediately had red flags. By the time they shared with me, I already had the answers to defend why the pastor/church operated the way they did. I was indoctrinated so quickly, I couldn’t see past my defenses!
Do you have any ideas on how believers can do better in encouraging critical thinking? I was scared of that most my life until the unraveling happened. It still feels unnatural. Would love to know if you have some ideas there.
I have not thought of this experience as refugee "all I made it out with is my person". Extraordinary thoughts. Accurate. Images of scorched earth Ukraine are showing up. I think you have given me a new realization of the extent of the harm.
I’m so sorry for what you endured. And I’m pleased that you seem to have become stronger.
It’s hard to know what to even think about this kind of evil. I wonder if a congregational type of church governance is what would work to more effectively deal with such things.
What struck me most in reading this, is that it seems like Christians in general, (and I include myself). too often, just seem to live as if God does not actually exist. What I mean is that there does not seem to be an ongoing conversation with God. Not a close relationship. Not even seeking Him. Just a Sunday religious performance.
Hi Bob, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read/share. I really appreciate it.
You bring up a great point re: living as if God doesn’t exist. I think about how unimpressed (and angry!) Jesus would be if he walked into many of these services to see what Christians have done for show/power/control. My traumatic experience certainly makes me want to have a connection to God that is more robust and deeply authentic. Candidly, it’s taking time to recover and repair my trust in God. But I still want that.
I hate that this happened to you...and happens to so many. I would love to encourage you, though, that it is possible (if my own--different but relatable) story is any indication, for traumatized people pleasers to heal and bring healing. I hope and pray you find this more and more.
Hi Jenn, wonderful meeting you here. Thank you for that encouragement. It’s something I hope for very much! I see little flecks of that in my life now. 🤲🏼
Hooo boy. It's been ten years since I went through something along these lines (though in my case it was a campus minister at a small religious college, I worked for his ministry for a scholarship).
You will heal, and eventually get to a point where you stop feeling angry and grieving all the time. It still wells up sometimes, but it's not as overwhelming and strong as it once was. Looking back, I can see God working through it and pruning certain things away. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt like heck.
Hey Emily, it’s nice seeing another new face here. Thank you for reading and sharing that piece of encouragement. It’s amazing how five years both feels like a lifetime and a flash all at once. The anger and grief are much quieter than they used to be. Writing this story helped bring even more healing—an unexpected gift.
I’m so sorry you endured something similar. Grateful you were rescued from the situation and can see evidence of God’s presence now.
Erika, I lead a ministry called The Holy Shift and would love to share your story with my community on my blog and direct them to your work. Could you please contact me at christine@theholyshift.org to discuss?
Thank you for sharing your story, Erika.
The deep wells of spiritual abuse continue to surface (in so many churches and ministries) because of spirit driven voices like yours.
May Lord continue to heal what’s been wounded and broken 💛
Thanks for your comment, Hannah. I’m so grateful for the people who’ve gone before me and passed along their courage. I can only hope to do the same for someone else!
Thank you for sharing your story, Erika. Beautifully written, and your reflections are so powerful. Your vulnerability in sharing will help others, which is such a kindness.
Amy, thank you for this encouragement! 🥹
It must have taken much courage for you to write this post. It’s so terrible you have experienced the horrible abuse. I’m so proud of you for sharing your experience publicly in order to define what a spiritual abuse looks like firsthand and to validate those who has experienced traumas from a spiritual abuse. I’m thankful for your counselor who has helped you identify the spiritual abuse and continues to help you on your healing journey. I’m grateful God has kept you despite many traumatic experiences and has brought you healing and is continuing to heal you. You are a strong woman who has a gift of writing! Thank you for using your gift to uncover the truth even though it was very hard thing to do❤️I hope this post will bring a awareness and encouragement to those who needed to hear your story. Love you!
Arigato. 🥹💗 Those were some dark times, and I’m thankful for your support and prayers through all of it. You’re right, my therapist has been instrumental in helping me see with clarity and untangle the mess of weeds the trauma left behind!
It was beyond tragic what happened to you and many others.
Bravo for using your voice in order to help others after you. It was so brave and courageous.
It was interesting to read how you had to detach from your previous “sweet” self.
I think that he (and the board and church community) would have shaking a lot of your beliefs about how the world runs and how truth and righteousness prevails.
A loss of innocence.
But a birth of a new kind of bravery. 💕
Thank you, Mika. I remember beginning to use my voice and feeling just as surprised as others were that I had it in me. I think they expected me to be sweet, submissive, and silent forever! But they were wrong. Learning how and when to take a stand has been an awfully hard lesson. I’m still learning. It’s not as challenging as it once was, though.
Grateful for your words!
Do you think culturally, there was a fight against the norm of being a Japanese woman? As I was cooking for family to come over last night (just like my mother has done many times), I wondered, am I setting my daughters up to cook by themselves without enlisting their kids? 🤔
Ooooof, that's a really great question! Honestly, I haven't thought about it from that perspective, but now I'm curious... how much of my "submissive" personality traits/tendencies were influenced by those cultural expectations...? Hmmm. Something to think on!
Submission is really big in conservative evangelical circles, so I've always just linked my beliefs/tendencies back to that.
YES!!! They definitely expected and wanted SILENCE. It's THE tool. When a person WITH Godly character emerges out of the silence that got you into the situation, it confuses them. They are so used to dominating. But God IS with you! Doesn't mean there won't be suffering and you are shining a light for others to grow. It's good work.
Ginger, thank you for your thoughtful comment here and in the other threads as well. Your encouragement was a bright spot to my day!
What I see . . . is IMPORTANT work. You are doing important work. Evidence? All these posts. Kindred spirits. You are love. Lovely. Loved.
I’ve felt so supported and held by kind folks I’ve never even met. It’s truly redemptive for me. Grateful. Thank you again, Ginger!
Hi Erika. Please note that I am saying some very direct things in this message that you might not want published here. If that is the case, please delete this comment, and know that I apologize. I am speaking generally with regard to what you went through and not specifically about you.
My hope is to share compassionate information. And when reading these words, you will feel deep understanding. If that doesn’t happen, delete this comment.
Thank you for sharing this story of complex betrayal. Please know that healing from any betrayal is not linear, and not something to solely do alone.
What you have experience is a betrayal in kairos time. (Versus normal “chronos” time that we live by). A kairotic betrayal is the deepest form of betrayal because it simply “should” not exist as a possibility in the natural world. Yet it does. A kairos moment is a moment out of normal time, defined by philosophers and mystics as “deep time” where the world seems to stand still.
Abuse at this level is unspeakably wrong. Your former senior pastor is as terrible as the catholic priests who abused children in their care for decades.
You were right to speak up, no matter what the outcome.
A secondary huge part to grieve is the relationships you lost. The grief comes from your wise knowing now that they were never what they presented themselves to be.
Grieve. Be gentle to yourself. Be kind. Speak kindly to yourself. There are real communities out there for you to be a part of someday, and you will find them in time.
Teyani, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for spending the time not only reading the post, but sharing your thoughts with me (and anyone else stopping by!). I can sense your compassion.
I’ve only heard a little re: chronos vs kairos time before. Now you have me curious—will need to look into that further! What you explained about the world standing still certainly feels true.
I appreciate you being able to see and name the severity of the abuse. Other people’s stories from that church are disturbing and heartbreaking as well, but they aren’t mine to tell.
While I’ve now had time to grieve the relationships I’d lost, I wish I had your words in those initial months (and perhaps couple of years). Phew. How easy it was to feel like *I* had been the one to betray my community by speaking up!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Because we are designed by God to belong, the loss of relationship is the sword. The grief is real and we all never want to be excluded and so we conform and are silent. Bonehoeffer is the single Christian voice that emerged from WW2 because he would not remain silent. Jesus doesn't call us to silence. His command is to speak. There is a cost. We are promised suffering. He says if your influence isn't received to shake the dust off your feet and walk away. Walking away is also walking toward the next space to speak.
Erika, wow. Thank you for sharing your story. It is an important experience that needs to be heard, for your healing, and for others’. I’m sure your piece will help someone, or sadly, many others. I’m glad you have the strength to share this. Also it was well written.
Stephanie, you’re welcome. I do hope this story can be useful to others. I hate that there are “others,” but this problem spreads far and wide. Appreciate your comment here!
It is so very brave to speak out in this type of culture and also to be as vulnerable as you have been to share your story here. I see and honour your courage, Erika, and thank you.
Of course. And thank you for your words, Nic! It took much deliberating, editing, and even stepping away as I worked on the piece. But I’ve felt good about where it’s all landed now.
Thank you for your courage and bravery. I lasted about a year and a half in a similar type of church, losing my "safety net" of a "family" -- the most important friendships I'd made so far in formative time of my life (freshman and sophomore years of college). Many of these friends went on to work as interns and then staff members -- while I slowly began the process of healing, unsure for awhile what churches were even safe or how to tell. How'd I let myself think that was all okay?
In time, I've been contacted by almost every single person who'd turned their back on me when I left -- at least the ones that mattered -- with sincere apologies for not understanding and for cutting me out. "But now I get it," they'd eventually say.
And I can only hope, for so many people in similar situations, the truth, in the end, prevails.
Kristine—I’m so sorry you’ve known this particular kind of pain, isolation, and loss. It really can plunge someone into deep grief. I don’t blame anyone for their skepticism toward church. 😞
Hearing from folks again must’ve brought up many emotions. Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to experience that... I still hope the ones who stayed back can realize the truth of what’s happened. I’m not sure what it takes, but I’m grateful I was rescued from this kind of darkness and believe it’s not too late for them.
I share your hope for a truth that prevails. Even when that seems far off or almost impossible, I want to believe it will.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
My heart hurts for you. You are actually quite amazing to so quickly see and act. Brave. It is encouraging to hear that people you appreciated humbled themselves and reached out to you. And apologized. That's very sweet. Without your strong Godly character they would not have learned.
Thank you Ginger, I very much appreciate your thoughtful comment!
Thank you for sharing your story. I really see how you sought to write this with accuracy, while also allowing the sorrow of these losses be honest too. It was beautifully written. And thank you for sharing the Wade Mullen quote in the footnotes. I really see that dynamic in my own story as well as many others. It also took me about five years before I could publicly talk about my own story of spiritual abuse.
Hi Kimi, it’s nice to see a new face here. Thanks for taking your time on a weekend to read!
I appreciate you noticing my effort in relaying the events and my emotions with a thoughtful, yet honest approach. It took several iterations and I had a few friends offer feedback. The general consensus was to be more honest and to let the facts carry their own weight. I worked on the piece (and sometimes stepped away) till I felt it (and I!) was in a good place to publish.
I’m really sorry to hear you have your own story of spiritual abuse. What grief and sorrow you must’ve gone through. It can be incredibly lonely and disorienting to move forward from, can’t it?
No one is ever owed our vulnerable stories, but I know I’ve been deeply encouraged and impacted by others who have shared. Knowing we aren’t alone really can help the healing process along. 😌
Thanks, Erika! Thank you also for sharing your process of writing this. I can relate as I also recently wrote my own story of spiritual abuse on Substack, and I had to rewrite often before publishing, take a step back and come back to it, and really consider how to best tell a complex story. It’s a difficult undertaking, but you handled the complexities of your story so well.
And I very much agree — abuse in all forms is isolating and creates so much grief and loss. That was one of the reasons I eventually decided to write my story and share it, because I wanted to speak out against the isolating sense of shame that happens to many of us in the aftermath.
That said, completely agree with your assessment. No one is owed our vulnerable stories, and yet, there can be a healing process to both sharing our stories and hearing others too. Thank you for letting us hear some of your story!
When I get the chance, I’ll read your story as well. I’m not sure what it felt like for you after publishing, but the last couple of days I’ve been experiencing a sense of agency returning. It feels redemptive to receive support and understanding from folks.
This story is so familiar. I have heard it so many times now, and it never gets any less heartbreaking. I’m so sad and grieved for your experience, but so proud of you for taking the stand you did. The collateral damage to exiting a system like this is enormous. I have compared my own version of this story to feeling like I’m a refugee, like all I made it out with is my person, and I’ve had to go through the shell shock afterwards. It tends to feel a bit like you lobbed the bomb that exploded your life — but there’s no other option if you want to retain personal integrity.
I sometimes wonder if the same sensitivity that makes people good at things is a threat — like that the domineering force is aware they’re being seen through so turns so quickly. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why it’s so difficult for people to see these dynamics in “Christian” settings.
Thanks for sharing your story here.
Annelise, thanks a bunch for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your empathy. I’m also really sorry you carry your own story of loving/leaving a community as well. 😔
Many yeses to your comment about retaining personal integrity. How devastating to know anyone has to make that choice at church. The fact having integrity can mean speaking up against or removing yourself from spiritual community because it’s twisted at its core feels unfair and unthinkable. At least it did as someone who’d grown up in the church. These were “my people.” (Or so I thought.)
Have you listened to the podcast The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill? (It could be triggering, so if you haven’t listened, do keep that in mind.) I remember listening and thinking—did my pastor take notes. The podcasts seem to illuminate how the collective *we* as believers have propped up these sorts of leaders in the first place. Gulp.
In the early days, a few friends had visited my old church and immediately had red flags. By the time they shared with me, I already had the answers to defend why the pastor/church operated the way they did. I was indoctrinated so quickly, I couldn’t see past my defenses!
Do you have any ideas on how believers can do better in encouraging critical thinking? I was scared of that most my life until the unraveling happened. It still feels unnatural. Would love to know if you have some ideas there.
I have not thought of this experience as refugee "all I made it out with is my person". Extraordinary thoughts. Accurate. Images of scorched earth Ukraine are showing up. I think you have given me a new realization of the extent of the harm.
I’m so sorry for what you endured. And I’m pleased that you seem to have become stronger.
It’s hard to know what to even think about this kind of evil. I wonder if a congregational type of church governance is what would work to more effectively deal with such things.
What struck me most in reading this, is that it seems like Christians in general, (and I include myself). too often, just seem to live as if God does not actually exist. What I mean is that there does not seem to be an ongoing conversation with God. Not a close relationship. Not even seeking Him. Just a Sunday religious performance.
Hi Bob, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read/share. I really appreciate it.
You bring up a great point re: living as if God doesn’t exist. I think about how unimpressed (and angry!) Jesus would be if he walked into many of these services to see what Christians have done for show/power/control. My traumatic experience certainly makes me want to have a connection to God that is more robust and deeply authentic. Candidly, it’s taking time to recover and repair my trust in God. But I still want that.
Erika, this was such a tender and powerful piece of writing. My heart aches for what you’ve gone through 🤍
Thank you for your kindness, Allison!
I hate that this happened to you...and happens to so many. I would love to encourage you, though, that it is possible (if my own--different but relatable) story is any indication, for traumatized people pleasers to heal and bring healing. I hope and pray you find this more and more.
Hi Jenn, wonderful meeting you here. Thank you for that encouragement. It’s something I hope for very much! I see little flecks of that in my life now. 🤲🏼
Oh I'm so glad to hear it.
Hooo boy. It's been ten years since I went through something along these lines (though in my case it was a campus minister at a small religious college, I worked for his ministry for a scholarship).
You will heal, and eventually get to a point where you stop feeling angry and grieving all the time. It still wells up sometimes, but it's not as overwhelming and strong as it once was. Looking back, I can see God working through it and pruning certain things away. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt like heck.
Hey Emily, it’s nice seeing another new face here. Thank you for reading and sharing that piece of encouragement. It’s amazing how five years both feels like a lifetime and a flash all at once. The anger and grief are much quieter than they used to be. Writing this story helped bring even more healing—an unexpected gift.
I’m so sorry you endured something similar. Grateful you were rescued from the situation and can see evidence of God’s presence now.
Erika, I lead a ministry called The Holy Shift and would love to share your story with my community on my blog and direct them to your work. Could you please contact me at christine@theholyshift.org to discuss?
Hi Christine! Thanks so much for reaching out with this offer. I'll email you shortly!
Healing narrative ❤️🩹
Thank you for reading!